Friendship and Divorce: When Support Becomes Fuel to Fire
Divorce is a necessary yet unpleasant slice of life. The experience will mean you’ll need a safe place to recover in Denver. This means getting support from friends who can offer comfort during the difficult ordeal.
In some cases, however, friends can aggravate a situation, whether they intend to or not. Support is good, but sometimes, you have to draw the line.
Lawyer Selection: Keep Friends Out
The best Denver family lawyers can handle divorce cases, and help you reach your goal during the process. While friends, who have gone through a similar experience, can provide sufficient recommendation for a good lawyer, they may not share your expectations.
For example, a friend may give you the name of an unrelenting lawyer who may go against your goal of settling the divorce quickly, if not, amicably.
It is not always advisable to choose a lawyer based on a friend’s recommendation alone. While there is nothing wrong with considering his or her suggestion, it is best to use your judgment and base your final decision on the lawyer’s track record and approach to divorce cases.
You Don’t Have to Know Everything
Your friends may have anticipated your divorce. They may have been silent witnesses to your former spouse’s affairs or mistakes, but chose not to speak up. Now that the marriage is over, some of them may start to talk.
They may disclose past transgressions, complaining about your ex-partner’s mistakes.
If they do so, make them stop; tell them you’d rather not know. The revelations might make you feel betrayed or angrier at your former spouse. But you can’t change what has happened. You may have no control over the past, but you can control how you handle the matter and avoid becoming bitter.
Boundaries on Hangouts
Socializing is a big part of moving on. But spending time with friends, at restaurants or cafés, may give rise to more negative talk about your former spouse. Unless you initiate the conversation about your ex-partner, clarify with friends that you no longer want to talk about the relationship or the person. You can’t move on when draining conversations fill your time with friends.
Friends are essential during a divorce, whether it’s contentious or amicable. But you need to create boundaries to spare yourself from more pain. After all, you deserve it.