At the end of this article the mother is quoted as saying, “But they took my son.” Respectfully, NO Ma’am! Your son volunteered. To my brother in arms, Roger…See you when I report for guard duty in Heaven, Marine. Semper Fidelis.

The Marines sent a Gibsonville man’s body home to his mother, but she probably won’t be getting his belongings.

They’ll instead go to his biological father, a man who was practically a stranger to him, his mother said.

Roger Hager, 20, a 2008 graduate of Western Alamance High School, died one month ago today when his convoy hit a roadside bomb in Afghanistan’s Helmand province. He was killed on impact.

His remains and awards were delivered to his mother, Elaine Hager Farren, who had raised him and who was the beneficiary of his life insurance policy.

Official policy states that personal belongings go to the next-of-kin, Capt. Timothy Patrick, a spokesman for the Marines, said. In the case of an unwed soldier, the items go to the eldest parent.

That means Hager’s belongings will be sent to Steve Graves, who was never married to Farren and whose name, she said, is not listed on Hager’s birth certificate.

Patrick said Hager listed both Farren and Graves on his military records.

Once the Marines deliver the items, how they are divided among the family becomes a civil issue, Patrick said.

He was unsure if the items have been delivered, but he does not expect the Marines to deviate from the policy in this case.

“The Marine Corps part is the delivery of the personal effects,” he said. “Delivery does not constitute ownership.”

When reached in Shelbyville, Tenn., Graves said he would like to keep his son’s belongings and does not plan to sign a release waiver.

“He put me down, so that’s why I’d like to keep them,” he said.

But Farren said her son would not have listed Graves as his father if he had been aware of the policy.

She had talked with Hager before he left about where his belongings would go if something happened to him.

“You, Ma, you’re going to get everything,” Farren recalls her son saying.

“Everything” is not much. There are Hager’s video games and Xbox, a television and his cell phone.

And then there are the letters Farren wrote to her son while he was at war and the necklaces he had bought for his mom and sister but never got to give them.

“This is Roger’s stuff,” Farren said through tears. “This is stuff Roger loved.”

Burdened with the loss of one child, Farren also worries about her other two.

Jeremy Scott Hager, 22, spent his last tour in Iraq deactivating explosives like the one that killed his brother. He’s getting married in the next few weeks and then deploying with the Marines to Afghanistan in September.

Faith Strang, Farren’s youngest, is 18. She left a few weeks ago for Army training.

Farren has spent hours on the phone with the Marines, hoping to find someone who is willing to deviate from the official policy and help her get Hager’s belongings back. She said she isn’t sure what the next step is.

She is still trying to find a lawyer willing to take on her case and is considering a public march.

Today, she said, she’s grown to hate the Marines, a group her eldest son is still a part of.

“I feel bad that I’m fighting. I feel guilty,” she said. “But they took my son. They can’t take his stuff too.”

August 08, 2009
McClatchy-Tribune Information Services

(Military.com)